I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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