You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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