I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
