Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
