This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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