That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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