Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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