ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
