Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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