Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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