i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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