Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So vagazzling was a success
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
