Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
