i think i have two assholes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize