I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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