He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
