the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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