i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
