Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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