THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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