I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
