He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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