I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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