last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
