i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize