How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
