New invention idea: vibrating tampons
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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