if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize