Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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