haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
