i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
