She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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