My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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