Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
