U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
