I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
