I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
