a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
