Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize