woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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