It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
