I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.