i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.