mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
