How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
