What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
