Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
