At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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