I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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