Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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