Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
