Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize