it wasn't lemon gatorade
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
