He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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