they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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