Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We are all done wearing pants today
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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