You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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