I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
