officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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